132. Marston’s Oyster Stout

Posted: February 8, 2012 in International beer, Stout
Tags: , , , , ,

Marston’s Oyster Stout

Company info:
Marstons Brewery
Burton upon Trent, UNITED KINGDOM


Bottle size sampled: 500 mL

Alcohol: 4.5%
Standard drinks: 1.8

Cap type: Non-twist

Cost: I picked this up for $6.99AU

Label info: ‘Marston’s Oyster Stout is dark in colour with a mocha coloured head and a slightly fruity aroma with a hint of chocolate. It delivers a rich, smooth, full bodied flavour that is enjoyed as the ideal accompaniment to eating oysters and other shellfish or just on its own’

What the label really means: Harking back to a time when oysters and stout were the food of choice for the poorer classes, I am thankful that this stout has not been made using oysters. Or at least there’s no mention of it here…

The Hell-Cat review starts here

Label: Set against the backdrop of what appears to be reminiscent of a very bad Grandma’s house artwork of a seaside vista, the words ‘Oyster Stout’ pop out like Porky Pig at the end of a cartoon. It pushes the label from dull to exciting, full of energy and far from the serenity of the beachside. Look at the dopey bird, possibly an albatross, sailing above an abandoned dinghy. Laugh heartily at the futility of its mere presence and smile.

I give it a label rating of 6 out of 10.

AROMA: Rich and malty…I’m keen to check this sucker out.

Taste: GLASS – First sip and I’m hit with an intense all-mouth bitterness. It’s smoothly carbonated and incredibly malt-heavy. There’s a burnt coffee flavour that feels to me as though it’s just there to mask the water, like a tea-bag that’s been only dipped in a cup of hot water. Marston’s Oyster Stout feels to lack a great deal of complexity and presents itself as a bit one-dimensional. Needless to say, I am disappointed.


I give it a beer from glass rating of out of 10.

Taste: BOTTLE – Drink it from the bottle and it’s much the same as from the glass. Unfortunately it becomes just a tad more watery (ie, flavourless) and missing the delicious malty aroma.

I give it a taste from bottle rating of 6 out of 10.

Accompanying food: I am thinking this could sit well with a good, hearty osso bucco, or beef and kidney pie. The redeeming feature of this stout is that it’s not heavy, and therefore won’t be too bloaty, while the rich undercurrents will suit a saucy, hearty meal.

Best season to appreciate: Definitely a Winter brew.

All-nighter beer? I could probably drink this all night, it’s certainly very easy to drink. But I imagine it would whack one hell of a hangover.

NEXT WEEK: Schöfferhofer Hefeweizen

  1. wob says:

    Fuck off talk about somtiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggg inttestiiiiiiiiiigggggg biatch!!!!!!””””&”cunt


    • radiosnivins says:

      There’s nothing more interesting than beer, nothing, except, perhaps, girly bottoms, Danny Macaskill shenanigans, and a dim sim smorgasbord. Now, get back under your bridge, troll. Hmmph!


      • Mason Hell-Cat says:

        Oh come on Robby Gale. Why don’t you share with us all what life is like for a 44 year old, divorced chap from Exeter, Devon? Surely your work in the kitchen working with a bunch of girls can’t be all bad? (For anyone keen to follow the amusing antics of Robby on Facebook, head here: https://www.facebook.com/robinitgale)


  2. Captain Pugwash says:

    As a big fan of stout I am glad to have read this review. Otherwise I would have unwittingly stumbled into my local bottlo and then, a few minutes later. stumbled out again with a few Oysters under my arm. Imagine how disappointed I would have been, upon tasting them. Actually, come to think of it, you don’t need to imagine it. You can read Chat de Hell’s blog and it’ll tell you all you need to know.

    Thank you Mr Hellcat for suffering so that we don’t have to.

    Oh and PS
    I knew Monsieur Sniveaux was well connected but I can’t believe he may have coaxed Basil Fawlty out of retirement. Looking forward to next week. It will be a moment of televisual history. Albeit on the electrical interweb.


  3. Diddlysquat says:

    Long time reader, first time commentator on this fine blog I must say I’m now tuning in just as much to see Radio Snivins vids as I am to read the reviews. If you turn the speakers up just far enough that lisp goes straight through you. Fine work Mason on a great & informative blog!


    • Mason Hell-Cat says:

      Welcome Diddlysquat! Great to have you join the chaos.
      I agree with you on Snivin’s videos – they are excellent.

      Please share your thoughts on any of the brews I review each week – always keen to hear other’s perspectives.


  4. Radio Snivins says:

    Another fine review, ‘Kazoo, especially your label sectsh. Hilarious. Hilarious, yet poignant. I just wish I could partake.

    It’s little known outside of sound pollution circles that Radio Snivins is a recovering karaokeist, but he’s recently fallen off the earmuff, which is why he’s delivering this week’s comment in song.


    • Mason Hell-Cat says:

      Genius! I get a great laugh out of these videos every damned week, Snivicus.


    • Radio Snivins says:

      I was super-pivvled that I couldn’t try last week’s SP with it’s apple notes. I love apple notes. I adore them. This stuff sounds ricketatious, so I’m less pivvled, but I’m still pretty pivvled. Still, mustn’t blub. Nine out of ten.


      • Mason Hell-Cat says:

        Hope you can find next week’s brew. It’s pretty alright…


      • Radio Snivins says:

        Oh, yes, there’s no shortage of Schöffers down here. I’ve never tried the stuff, but I will tomorrow night. I’m looking forward to it. I love banana notes just as much as I love apple notes. I expect it to be nothing less than a nine out of ten drop. As for my film – and I don’t like to preempt the creative process – but I’d be very surprised if Basil Fawlty doesn’t put in an appearance.


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