Schöfferhofer Hefeweizen

Company info:
Schofferhofer Weizenbier GMBH
Frankfurt, GERMANY


Bottle size sampled: 500 mL

Alcohol: 5%
Standard drinks: 1.9

Cap type: Non-twist

Cost: I picked this up for $4.99 AU

Label info: ‘Premium – Weizenbier
Premium cloudy wheat beer’

What the label really means: Cool…tell it how it is, boys.

The Hell-Cat review starts here

Label: The label is orange. Oh so orange. It’s not a bad thing, it drew me in. It drew you in.
But peer your dim witted face through the cloud of orange-ness, look above the beer name and you’re smacked across the kisser by a hoity toity dwarf named Peter Schöffer von Gernsheim who sits there with a little hat on, staring stoically as master of this brew. No one knows a thing about this little fella. No one even bothered to read his entry on Wikipedia to garner his mere presence on the label. No, there is no need. He needs no introduction for he is a man of little words, thought, or personal hygiene. He has stood the test of time, competed in several unsuccessful chess games, and groomed a beard to manly metrosexual perfection. This man is the man that unites beer and greatness. Bless you von Gernsheim. Bless you.

I give it a label rating of 8 out of 10.

AROMA: A delicious, fresh, crisp wheat aroma. It’s like a breeze on a warm Summer evening. Or that could just be the breeze I just felt. On a warm Summer’s evening. It was the dog. I swear.

Taste: GLASS – Bursting with flavour, Schofferhofer Hefeweizen is fresh, it’s satisfyingly refreshing, it’s smooth and there are surprising tinges of orange and citrus. It feels like it is taking the notion of a hefeweizen aside, having a good stern talking to it and kicking it into another realm. It’s excellent in many ways – some that defy human understanding. Terrestrial almost. Almost.

I give it a beer from glass rating of out of 10.

Taste: BOTTLE – A bit more earthy from the bottle – perhaps due to the yeasty sediment swirling around and stage diving itself onto my tongue. It adds a delicious element to the tasting, but I am missing that delicious, all-nostril-encompassing aroma that is crucial to the success of this brew.

I give it a taste from bottle rating of 8 out of 10.

Accompanying food: Predictably, I’d kill for a fat, juicy kransky and sauerkraut. In fact I did kill for one. If the name Barney Leederhaush ever hits the headlines, I was never here.

Best season to appreciate: A great outdoor Summer beer. Surely.

All-nighter beer? Absolutely….bring it ON!


  1. Radio Snivins says:

    I don’t toot other fellows’ flugelhorns willy nilly, ‘Kazoo – not that there’s anything wrong with that – but Schöfferhofer – even the name’s hilarious – is your wittiest, and therefore best, review ever. I’ll be flummoxed if it doesn’t end up in the carbonated plonk section of that accountancy trade mag.

    On a foozling related note, I had a genuine religious enlightenment experience at Murphett’s this arvo, or a near-death electrical episode, I’m not sure which. Fortunately, I was filming at the time…



    • Mason Hell-Cat says:

      Another impressive video, Snivelly.
      But the choice of song is interesting…there’s something awfully fishy going on around here or my name isn’t Larrimore….and it isn’t….


      • Radio Snivins says:

        It’s the ambient music at Murphett’s. I hadn’t even noticed it until you just pointed it out. The only fishy thing about Murphett’s is the warning on their Sweet Lips Moscato that it may contain traces of fish.


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