163. El Loco

Posted: November 20, 2012 in Lager, Only drink if it's free
Tags: , , , , , ,

El Loco

Company info:
Imported by: PLL Pty Ltd
Pyrmont, N.S.W.
Product of Guatemala

[No website listed]

Bottle size sampled: 355 mL

Alcohol: 4.6%
Standard drinks: 1.3

Cap type: Non-twist

Cost: I picked this up for $2.50 AU

Label info: N/A

What the label really means: N/A

The Hell-Cat review starts here

Label: We have yet another bottle-printed label this week and this one sticks to one that is very basic, with a simple three colours being used. It depicts ‘El Loco’ in large bold letters in front of a blue sea, topped with a setting sun and palm trees. If you’re looking for an original label, go elsewhere. This label has stereotype plastered all over its horrid clear glass. It reeks of desperation, mass marketing and cheap, cheap insides.

I give it a label rating of 2 out of 10.

AROMA: Zesty citrus aromas. I think I’ve had this one before..

Taste: GLASS – No, I haven’t tasted this one before after all. If I had, I would have sliced my own tongue out of my skull and mashed it into an insinkerator before dousing it in petrol and laughing maniacally as I throw a lit match in. From first glance of El Loco I had hoped for something remotely in the vicinity of Corona (and not that I’m a fan of Corona by any means). Instead, I am saddened to report, this is like Corona’s demented, psychopathic cousin with bad hair and adult acne. Imagine taking a 1/4 glass of Corona, and then topping it up with water – this is a little like El Loco. It’s a watered down, less flavoursome poor man’s Corona. It is severely lacking in any distinguishable flavours. Horrible.

I give it a beer from glass rating of 1.5 out of 10.

Taste: BOTTLE – Even more watery, tasteless and boring. The only reason I could possibly see for me to suggest you even look in the general direction of El Loco is if this is supplied free at your upcoming work Christmas party. Even then, demand it is ice cold and served with the juice of at least three dozen lemons. A complete waste of my time and efforts. I feel cheap, I feel used, I feel sick. But honestly. Take a look at this bottle. I knew what I was getting myself into when I bought this didn’t I?

I give it a taste from bottle rating of 1 out of 10.

Accompanying food: Spicy, chilli dishes be they Mexican, Guatemalan, or Asian. Something, anything, that can compensate for the lack of flavour in this drop.

Best season to appreciate: I guess a Summer beer at best.

All-nighter beer? Not for me. One of these and I felt my taste buds pack up and call it a night.


  1. Radio Snivins says:

    Great review, ‘Kazoo. I love reading reviews on dodgy beers, and yours was no exception. That said, you’re a foolish Farouk. If you’re gunna deliberately get on the outside of a beer whose name translates as The Madman then you must expect some soft palate injury, you simply must, hence your Farouk status.


    • Radio Snivins says:

      I still haven’t seen this stuff on the shelves of my frequented fooze-a-toriums, but if I did I would give it the cold tastebud. That is, I would ignore it. I don’t trust clear bottled beers. Clear bottled beers are more about marketing than fooze quality, and hence are not to be trusted. It’s practically a fable.


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